By Yvonne Lazar
October 26, 2016

As the final step in a two year long search to discover my father’s family, I paid a visit to Cologne, Germany in May, 2016. I “stumbled” across a number of brass stones embedded in the streets of Cologne and learned that they are memorials to victims of the holocaust.  The stones contain inscriptions beginning with the words “here lived”, followed by the name of the victim, date of birth, date of deportation, and place and date murdered.  Gunter Demnig, a Cologne artist, created the Stolpersteine Project to memorialize the victims of the holocaust.  Stolpersteine translates as “stumbling stones”.  The idea is that while many people may choose to ignore memorials in outlying places, they cannot avoid stumbling across these bricks, and are thereby forced to remember the victims and the atrocities committed by the Nazis and others.  Each stolperstein is a gold-colored brick laid in the sidewalk near the last freely chosen place of residence or work before deportation.  To date 50,000 stolpersteine have been laid, mostly in Germany, but also in several other countries.  This has become a labor of love for Gunter Demnig and his calendar is full through next summer.  The country and city must agree to cooperate, as the stones are laid on public sidewalks.  Munich is the only major German city to refuse to allow them.

I knew little about my father’s family before I embarked on my search.  My father died when I was 16, and he had never discussed the fate of his family.  I did know that they were from Cologne and that the remaining family had died in the holocaust.  My father and a cousin were able to get out in 1936 and made their way to South Africa, where I was born.  In addition to my mother and brother, this was my entire known family, until recently.

With the help of researchers at the Cologne Archives and Documentation Center, I was able to find birth, marriage and death certificates, deportation information, as well as other documents.  My focus was only on the immediate family – my father’s parents and siblings.  I did not include the fate of extended family in my search (although I am sure that I would have found many more tragic stories).

I discovered that my father’s father (my grandfather) died in 1924, and a sister died in 1922 in a flu pandemic.  His older brother died in 1935 of a stroke, resulting from the worsening conditions under which Jews were forced to live, according to his wife.  Other members of my family perished in the holocaust.  These included:

*Helene Mayer (age 76) – my father’s mother and my grandmother, was deported to Theresienstadt on July 27, 1942, on Transport 111/2, Train Da76, following months of incarceration at Mungersdorf Fort, an internment camp for Jews in Cologne.  She died 3 weeks later on August 18, 1942, shortly after arrival in Theresienstadt.  I was 5 months old.

*Martha Marx (age 52) – my father’s sister and my aunt, was deported to Auschwitz on January 15, 1943 on Transport 27, Train Da13, following months of incarceration at Mungersdorf Fort.  She was murdered upon arrival.

*Rudolf Marx – Martha’s husband, and my uncle, was deported to Auschwitz on January 15, 1943 on Transport 27, Train Da13, following months of incarceration at Mungersdorf Fort.  He was murdered upon arrival.

During my research, I was fortunate and delighted to discover and meet a second cousin living in London, Steve, (grandson of Martha and Rudi Marx) and his 91 year old mother, Ilse.   We submitted a request together to lay the stolpersteine in memory of our family members, and after a few months, we received a location, date and time.  The location was the final home of choice of Rudi and Martha Marx, before deportation.   Although my grandmother never lived there, we wanted them to be laid together.  Steve and Ilse joined me in Cologne in October 2016 for the occasion.

It is up to each individual family to decide how they wish to commemorate the occasion.  I knew that I wanted to give them the Jewish memorial service they never had.  I was fortunate to be put in touch with Diane, an American rabbinic student living in Bonn.  She led a very meaningful service, chanted El Malei Rachamim, and I said Kaddish.  I also read an adapted version of the poem “Everyone has a Name” (by Zelda) and expressed some of my own thoughts and words.  Steve shared a photo of his grandparents, and we concluded by laying our own stones on the stolpersteine.  It was a very moving and emotional experience, and I felt that we were honoring my family members by giving them back their names and their dignity.  Gunter Demnig cites the Talmud saying that “a person is only forgotten when his or her name is forgotten”.  My grandmother, aunt and uncle are not forgotten, and they and their names will live on in our memories, and for eternity.

For more information, visit Gunter’s website: www.stolpersteine.eu/en/home/